I can’t believe how happy I finally am. I’m just in this blissfully normal healthy thing with this guy who’s really nice and smart and funny and well liked and absolutely gorgeous. And my parents like him and I like him and he’s reserved about what he says to me in regards to his feelings for me. He lets his actions show it, like waiting at my locker at the end of the day, or hanging out with me for the whole whale watch while his friends are off smoking in the bathroom, or keeping me warm at the football game tonight and playing with my hands. I love that he doesnt call me pretty or babe or anything all the time, I love that he doesn’t want to know what I was like last year, or whether or not those rumors are true, I love that he’s tall and that he can make anything into a joke, i love that he’s obsessed with tswift and star wars, I especially love that he’s taking this slow and not labeling it. I might possibly have found someone for real, and I’m happy, I feel like a bubble. this is great I can’t wait for tomorrow night, and neither can he. :)

she’s fucking perfect. she’s so beautiful and nice and funny and you both would be perfect together. I’m just your friend, who sneaks out at night to go swimming at the pond with you. and you’re just my friend, who’s infinitely amazing, and who I let grab my breasts and my ass because you’re “just kidding around” and I’m “easily one of the prettiest girls in the grade”. well fuck that, because you can’t undo my bathing suit, tell me I’m not a whore, and ask me if I think you should ask her out all in the same twenty seconds. because now I’m embarrassed, and apparently we’ve agreed to forget tonight, but also do it again soon. and I don’t even sound good complaining about this, I just sound like I sad, stupid, lonely whore who should go back to her home on whore island and keep her fucking clothes on. fuck.